Saying Goodbye

Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.
John 19:25-27

The following was not written by me but by the great Max Lucado in his book No Wonder They Call Him the Savior. Chapter 5 in that book is called “Leaving is Loving.” It was given to me half a lifetime ago when I was in college. I can’t remember who gave it to me, but I’ve kept a copy of it ever since. It’s one of the most powerful things I’ve ever read in regards to leaving.

As my family and I pack up our house and prepare leave a life we’ve loved for nearly two decades, setting out for a new adventure with God in Kansas City, these words resonate deeply with me. Many people have recently asked me how I’m doing or how I’m feeling. In this beautifully written chapter from Lucado are the word that most closely represent my best answer to those questions.

The gospel is full of rhetorical challenges that test our faith and buck against human nature.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”

“Only in his home town and in his own house is a prophet without honor.”

But no statement is as confusing or frightening as the one in Matthew 19:29. “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”

The part about leaving land and fields I can understand. It is the other part that causes me to cringe. It’s the part about leaving mom and dad, saying good-bye to brothers and sisters, placing a farewell kiss on a son or daughter. It is easy to parallel discipleship with poverty or public disgrace, but leaving my family? Why do I have to be willing to leave those I love? Can sacrifice get any more sacrificial than that?

“Woman, behold your son.”

Mary is older now. The hair at her temples is gray. Wrinkles have replaced her youthful skin. Her hands are callused. She has raised a houseful of children. And now she beholds the crucifixion of her firstborn.

One wonders what memories she conjures up as she witnesses his torture. The long ride to Bethlehem, perhaps. A baby’s bed made from cow’s hay. Fugitives in Egypt. At home in Nazareth. Panic in Jerusalem. “I thought he was with you!” Carpentry lessons. Dinner table laughter.

And then the morning Jesus came in from the shop early, his eyes firmer, his voice more direct. He had heard the news. “John is preaching in the desert.” Her son took off his nail apron, dusted off his hands, and with one last look said good-bye to his mother. They both knew it would never be the same again. In that last look they shared a secret, the full extent of which was too painful to say aloud.

Mary learned that day the heartache that comes from saying good-bye. From then on she was to love her son from a distance; on the edge of the crowd, outside of a packed house, on the shore of the sea. Maybe she was even there when the enigmatic promise was made, “Anyone who has left . . . mother . . . for my sake.”

Mary wasn’t the first one to be called to say good-bye to loved ones for sake of the kingdom. Joseph was called to be an orphan in Egypt. Jonah was called to be a foreigner in Nineveh. Hannah sent her firstborn son away to serve in the temple. Daniel was sent from Jerusalem to Babylon. Nehemiah was sent from Susa to Jerusalem. Abraham was sent to sacrifice his own son. Paul had to say good-bye to his heritage. The Bible is bound together with good-bye trails and stained with farewell tears.

In fact, it seems that good-bye is a word all too prevalent in the Christian’s vocabulary. Missionaries know it well. Those who send them know it too. The doctor who leaves the city to work in the jungle hospital has said it. So has the Bible translator who lives far from home. Those who feed the hungry, those who teach the lost, those who help the poor all know the word good-bye.

Airports. Luggage. Embraces. Taillights. “Wave to grandma.” Tears. Bus terminals. Ship docks. “Good-bye, Daddy.” Tight throats. Ticket counters. Misty eyes. “Write me!”

Question: What kind of God would put people through such agony? What kind of God would give you families and then ask you to leave them? What kind of God would give you friends and then ask you to say good-bye?

Answer: A God who knows that the deepest love is built not on passion and romance but on a common mission and sacrifice.

Answer: A God who knows that we are only pilgrims and that eternity is so close that any “Good-bye” is in reality a “See you tomorrow.”

Answer: A God who did it himself.

“Woman, behold your son.”

John fastened his arm around Mary a little tighter. Jesus was asking him to be the son that a mother needs and that in some ways he never was.

Jesus looked at Mary. His ache was from a pain far greater than that of the nails and thorns. In their silent glance they again shared a secret. And he said good-bye.
No Wonder They Call Him the Savior, Chapter 5, Max Lucado

I’m not under some illusion that I am making some great sacrifice for the Lord. I’m moving to the Overland Park area of Kansas which is consistently rated as one of the top 5 places in the country to raise a family. I’ve had good friends pick up everything, leave the comfort of the familiar, and go to Belize (The Zittles) and to Zambia (The Morreaus). I know there are Christians around the world who are persecuted and risking their very lives for the sake of the gospel.

Even with all that in mind, leaving is still hard. We’ve invested here for 19 years, so the roots run deep. Pulling up those roots in order to transplant them is very painful, even though the place we’re going is really good soil. We have so many blessings, promises, and prophetic words waiting to be fulfilled on the other side of this move. But right now we’re grieving the loss of so much. Yet, we’re choosing to see each loss not as something taken from us, but as something surrendered, something sacrificed to the only One who is worthy of such sacrifice.

Jesus, you left everything, the perfection of heaven, for our sake. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, you left your hometown, your good friends, your family, your mom, to do ministry and usher in the Kingdom of God among us. And, finally, you even said goodbye to life itself as you surrendered yourself fully to the Father on the cross. You’ve left more than I will ever comprehend, and you did it for my sake. You’ve said painful goodbyes at a level I will never fully understand. Thank you that you never ask us to do anything you haven’t already done in greater measure. Thank you that you understand painful goodbyes. Thank you for the gift of roots even though it hurts to transplant them. Amen.

Competitive Nature

If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else…
Galatians 6:3-4

In our culture, being competitive is celebrated. Famous athletes are lauded for their competitive drive. Kids at a young age are taught to compete and win in youth sports. You even see competition when it comes to grades and academic performance. This tendency to be competitive runs through our culture and is embedded in the DNA of the business world. Evolutionary scientists tell us it’s the survival of the fittest.

As natural as being competitive seems, is it something that should exist in the church? Is being competitive something we should see in a growing life with Christ, or is it something that should get discarded along the way?

Having a competitive nature comes with serious pitfalls. Competitive people tend to frame everything as a win/loss scenario. If I win, you lose. But if you win, I lose. That kind of thinking is toxic to teamwork, conflict resolution, and community.

The other thing that can happen with a highly competitive person is that they begin to tie their worth and value to winning. They believe the lie early in life that, “I am valuable when I win.” Unfortunately, this is always packaged with its counterpart, “I am worthless when I lose.” Many kids pick up these lies along the way from undeveloped, immature parents and coaches.

Competition, by nature, is a comparative activity. It necessitates comparing yourself to someone else. But scripture is clear in Galatians 6 (see above) that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. We are to test our own actions against who God has created us to be, not against others. This perpetual tendency to be looking to the right or left, rather than in the mirror, makes a competitive person especially difficult in Christian community.

I’ve seen competitive personalities on display in church community and it’s not pretty. I’ve seen pastors try to “out do” other pastors in order to prove their worth and value. I’ve seen people jockey in conversation for who can be more spiritual, which is really just a competition for who can “sound” more spiritual. I’ve seen leaders compete for who has more influence in decision-making in the church. A competitive personality, in Christian community, reveals itself for what it really is…an unfinished immaturity that has yet to be surrendered to Christ.

The one time the apostle Paul celebrates a competitive spirit is when he’s challenging the Corinthians toward greater self-discipline and hard work. In other words, he celebrates competition’s tendency to cause a person to be tenacious.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Even here Paul makes the distinction between competing for earthly prizes and the kind of training that results in an eternal crown. He’s celebrating the discipline and tenacity that spiritual training brings about. But I don’t hear in this a celebration of a competitive nature. Instead, he’s celebrating perseverance and grit.

I grew up playing basketball, soccer, baseball and swimming. I was most competitive in swimming as it was my best sport. But what I loved about it was that we were competing mostly against our own times. Yes, the people in the water with us pushed us to give our best. But even when I was way ahead or way behind in relation to other swimmers, I was still pushing myself hard. My greatest competition was myself and my old time that I wanted to beat, not the person in the lane next to me.

I think this is what Paul had in mind when he wrote Galatians 6 and 1 Corinthians 9. It’s fine to allow the example of others to challenge us or inspire us. But our ultimate goal is not to beat other people. We can’t live a healthy spiritual life with a win/loss attitude, especially in ministry and Christian community. Our greatest competition is ourselves and our own potential. Our ultimate goal is to be formed into the image of Christ, to become who we were created to be, not to be better than someone else. Our value and worth is not tied to “winning” or being better than someone else. Our value and worth is rooted in God’s unconditional love for us, our unmerited adoption into the family of God.

The competitive nature in a follower of Christ must be nailed to the cross. It must be surrendered to Jesus so that He can transform it into something fit for the Kingdom. It must die a bloody death so that it can be resurrected into newness of life.

Over and over again Jesus taught us that the Kingdom works differently than the world. In the Kingdom, the first will be last and the last will be first. In the Kingdom, the humble are exalted. In the Kingdom, the servant is the greatest of all, the one who washes the most feet is the best leader. Jesus went to the cross, for the joy set before Him, knowing that, in the Kingdom, the one who gladly loses for the sake of others is the real winner.

Beautiful One

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.”
Matthew 23:27

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.
Matthew 26:6-8, 10

I’ve noticed a trend where some churches who are trying to appeal to younger generations are emphasizing “beauty” in their worship gatherings. They’ll tap into ancient liturgies of the church. They’ll use lots of poetic language. Their songs will sound like folksy, indie rock. Even their language is very artsy, bordering on pretentious.

All of this is an attempt to have a service that feels trendy and leans into “beauty.” It’s also an attempt to get away from the more conservative evangelical focuses on numbers, baptisms, and salvations. But what these churches don’t realize is that they are making the same mistake as the evangelicals just in a different direction. In both cases, these churches are chasing the fruit rather than the source.

Now, to be clear, I believe that creativity and the arts can be used powerfully in worship. We were created in the image of the Creator God, so we were made to be creative. The arts are powerful tools to bring beauty into the world that points us back to our Creator. So, don’t hear me say that I’m against the arts or creativity.

What I’m critiquing is the church that claims to be all about beauty, justice, and love. But they’ve prioritized the pursuit of beauty over the pursuit of the Beautiful One. They’ve prioritized seeking justice over seeking the God who is just. They shout from the rooftops that “God is love,” but what they demonstrate with their lives is their true slogan, “love is god.” The shift is subtle but recognizable.

In trying so hard to be beautiful on the outside, these churches often become just like the Pharisees who were called white-washed tombs by Jesus. Beautiful on the outside, full of dead bones and unclean things on the inside.

What Jesus called beautiful was the extravagant worship of the woman who broke open the alabaster jar. This over-the-top display of public affection for Jesus was embarrassing to the disciples. But for Jesus, this was beautiful. Real beauty is produced not just with meticulously crafted, poetic liturgy. Real beauty is produced with surrendered hearts who are completely abandoned to the Beautiful One.

King David showed us the right heart posture when he wrote:

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
Psalm 27:4

When we focus on creating a “beautiful” church service or liturgy, people will leave saying, “Wow, that service was beautiful.” But when we focus on an all-out pursuit of worshiping Jesus with abandon, a singular focus on the Beautiful One, then people will leave saying, “Wow, God is so beautiful,” or “What God did here was so beautiful!”

Can you see the difference? Is our goal to have people think our services are beautiful? Or is our goal to connect people to the beauty of the Lord?

He is the Beautiful One. And what He calls beautiful is extravagant, messy, surrendered worship that will often have onlookers a little embarrassed and a little offended. When the Holy Spirit moves, you will find a room full of people ugly crying, falling on their knees, trembling in God’s Presence, crying out to the Lord. It’s not pretty, but Jesus calls it beautiful. Or you may find a room full of people completely silent, reverently still as the fear of the Lord floods the room. No fanfare. Completely in awe as Jesus enters the room. He’s not impressed with white-washed tombs. He’s looking for those who, with totally abandonment, are willing to let go of their pride and dignity and give themselves fully to the beauty of the Lord.

Why are charismatics so weird?

“What should we do with these men? For it is plain to all who live in Jerusalem that a notable miraculous sign has come about through them, and we cannot deny it. But to keep this matter from spreading any further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more to anyone in this name.”
And they called them in and ordered them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Whether it is right before God to obey you rather than God, you decide, for it is impossible for us not to speak about what we have seen and heard.”
Acts 4:16-20

Why is it that Christians who operate in the supernatural gifts of the Spirit listed in 1 Corinthians 12 are so often weird and awkward?

Or put another way, why do charismatics often seem to lack emotional intelligence around people?

In my journey with these supernatural gifts and their proper use, I’m starting to understand why people who use these gifts seem so weird to your average evangelical. First, we need to acknowledge that low emotional intelligence can be found in every tradition of the church. I’ve met super-awkward Presbyterians, Baptists, Catholics, and progressives. So that part isn’t necessarily unique.

But I believe one factor that can sometimes increase awkwardness with charismatics is what happens when one receives these gifts. There is often a massive moment of full surrender in our relationship with Jesus before we start seeing the flourishing of the supernatural gifts. They may have even been there in seedling form already, but the gifts don’t flourish without surrender.

What this surrender requires is a gigantic “Yes” with our life. It is telling Jesus that we will do what He tells us to do no matter what. It is agreeing to operate with quick obedience even if it is hard, even if it is awkward, even if we’re afraid, even if it makes us look bad, even if it doesn’t fit with social norms. If the “fear of man” had a hold on our life, its stranglehold gets broken in this process of surrender.

Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” The fear of man is being overly concerned about what others will think of us. It is being overly concerned about our image and reputation. It is an oppressive desire to be liked and to have people say nice things about us. In order to fully operate in the supernatural gifts of the Spirit, this part of us must die.

So there is a process of surrender whereby we are killing or suppressing the voice that says, “But what will people think?” or “But how will this look?” This voice is often used by the enemy to keep us from stepping out in faith and taking bold risks in obedience to the Lord. The problem is that there is a part of this voice that involves emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is often summarized as having four main parts:

Self-awareness
Self-management
Relational awareness (empathy)
Relational management

When one is trying to be obedient to the Lord, part of putting to death the fear of man in our life is knowing that something will be awkward (self-awareness) and yet doing it anyway. This sometimes comes across to others as someone who doesn’t have self-management or relational awareness. An observer may assume, “If they knew how that looked, they wouldn’t do it.” But sometimes that’s not true. Sometimes the person trying to act in obedience knows how it looks and does it anyway.

Why?

Obedience. Surrender. I gave God my unequivocal “Yes” and don’t want to take it back.

But God would never ask us to do something embarrassing or awkward, right? Wrong. This is a myth that is believed by too many American Christians. We see throughout the Bible and throughout the history of the church that God continually asks people to do things that are awkward, embarrassing, and often misunderstood. And as we witness the lives of the persecuted church around the world, God even asks us to be willing to be killed for the sake of Christ.

Now, all of that said, there is a place for EQ in knowing “how” to do that thing God is asking us to do. He wants us to be loving. Many charismatics, in their deep desire to be bold in faith and quick in their obedience, have forgotten that not all EQ is the fear of man. We still are called to operate in love, and loving someone often looks like the four parts of emotional intelligence.

In other words, the reason many charismatics come across as awkward is because, in their deep desire not to give in to the fear of man, they have “thrown the baby out with the bathwater.” It is, of course, true that some charismatics just have a deficit in EQ like many other Christians. But it isn’t always that.

In my life I have found that, more often, it is a deep desire to be unquestioningly obedient and, in doing so, sometimes missing the mark on the difference between the fear of man and appropriate EQ. Charismatics don’t always get it right. They don’t always know where that line is. But I love their heart of wanting to obey the Lord no matter what. I’ll take that over a life full of fear any day. Being awkward for the sake of obedience to Christ seems like a small price to pay compared to the high price many Christians are paying around the world for their faith.

No Demilitarized Zone

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell…
Mark 9:43-47

What Jesus says here is so extreme! What in the world is He talking about?

First, we have to understand that this is hyperbole. Jesus is exaggerating to make a point. He doesn’t want people to literally cut things off. Jesus is trying to drive home the point that pruning unhealthy parts of our life is necessary in a life of following Jesus because there is no middle ground (also see John 15:1-6).

Jesus is trying to convey the severity of this truth: if we haven’t surrendered a part of our life to the Kingdom fo God then it has been surrendered to hell. And the gangrene of hell spreads.

We tend to frame things as if there is some neutral ground that is available to us. Jesus makes clear that there isn’t. We tend to ask ourselves, “Should I give God control of this part of my life or not?” But that is a false choice. The true question is, “Should I give God control of this part of my life or continue to submit it to the enemy?”

We tend to ask ourselves, “Should I step out in faith or remain safe in my comfort zone?” But if the Lord has asked us to do something then the true question is, “Should I step out in faith or continue to feed and cultivate the weeds of unbelief in my life?”

There is a war between the kingdom of darkness and the Kingdom of God and we are the battle ground. This war has no DMZ. What isn’t actively surrendered to the Kingdom of God in our life is already being used by the kingdom of darkness for the enemy’s purposes of stealing, killing, and destroying. The apostle Paul described it this way:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground…
Ephesians 6:10-13

This lie that there is some magical middle ground, some objective neutral territory, some spiritual Switzerland is one of the most prevalent lies swirling around the Church. Jesus knew this lie would be tempting to believe because no one wants to face open warfare. Appeasement is so alluring in the face of open conflict. And this is why Jesus used language that would shock us back into reality. He knew only this kind of hyperbole would be enough to break through our biases expose us to the truth.

Fear of the Lord

That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians…And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.
Exodus 14:30-31

Let all the earth fear the Lord;
    let all the people of the world revere him…
No king is saved by the size of his army;
    no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
    despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
    on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
Psalm 33:8, 16-18

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Proverbs 9:10

I believe the Lord is inviting the church back to the fear of the Lord. We must know how loved and cherished we are by our Father in heaven. We must know that we are a son or daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We must understand our inheritance in the Kingdom of God. And knowing all of this will inevitably lead to the fear of the Lord, an encounter with His holiness.

What is the fear of the Lord?

1. It is absolute surrender. It’s saying “Yes” to God before we even fully understand His command.

2. It is freedom from the fear of man. It’s no longer being bound by people pleasing. It’s seeking God’s approval above all others.

3. It is humility. It’s owning the fact that He is God and we are not. It’s living out the reality that we are not equal with God. (Philippians 2:5-8) He gets to call the shots. We are following Jesus not the other way around.

4. It is waiting on the Lord. It’s knowing that going forward without Him is pointless.

5. It is going boldly when we are sent by the Lord. It’s taking risks and stepping out in faith.

6. It is making hosting God’s Presence the primary concern, making sure He feels welcome before anyone else feels welcome.

There are a few reasons I feel like the Lord wants to return the fear of the Lord to the church. I’ve heard more than one major church leader talk about feeling this pull toward the fear of the Lord. I’ve also had talks with prophetic friends who feel the same way.

But the main reason I think Jesus wants to reintroduce the fear of the Lord to the church is because of an encounter I had at the end of 2019. I experienced just a taste of God’s raw holiness and was undone by the fear of the Lord. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I’ll never forget it. I believe the Lord was giving me a taste of what is to come. I wrote about that experience here.

In the future, I believe entire worship services will be taken over by the fear of the Lord. People will bow in repentance and kneel weeping before the Lord as they encounter His awesome holiness. Lukewarm Christianity will be broken in half. Syncretistic agreement with our current culture will be washed away in the hearts of believers. Being obedient will take precedence over being liked. The fear of the Lord will shake us and cause a full surrender.

Roadblocks

Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, “Who do people say I am?”
They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.”
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”
Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.”
Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him.
Mark 8:27-30

A local YoungLife leader took some of his guys out on a camping trip. After some time talking about life, the young men were asked this question, “What is the biggest roadblock that is holding you back from truly saying ‘Yes’ to a relationship with Jesus?“

What a fascinating question. There are so many things that can be roadblocks to surrendering our life to Jesus. Most people who take this question seriously understand that saying “Yes” to Jesus is more than just believing that He died for our sins so that we can be forgiven. They get that following Jesus with our whole life is deciding to surrender to His way rather than our own way. It is inviting the Holy Spirit to come and live inside of us so that He can begin to transform us from the inside out.

Some common roadblocks are things like a faulty view of God, thinking that we must clean up our act before surrendering to Jesus. But this is obviously backward. We surrender to Jesus because we admit that in our own strength we can’t clean up our act.

Doubt and unbelief can be a roadblock. Bad experiences with Christians or the church can cause offense, bitterness, or resentment to strangle our heart and these three emotional toxins can become roadblocks. Many times our favorite sins keep us from Jesus. We’re afraid He’s going to ask us to surrender those to Him and we just don’t want to. Or maybe we just don’t know who Jesus is. Many in Jesus’s own day were confused about His true identity.

But, if we adjust this question a little, it can also apply to people who have been Christians for most of their life.

“What is the biggest roadblock that is holding you back from truly surrendering every part of your life to Jesus?“

I can tell you that in my own life, I have hit different moments where I was convicted by the Holy Spirit that I had been holding different parts of my life back from Jesus. Ultimately, the roadblock for me was that I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Pridefully, I thought I knew all about the Kingdom of God, Jesus, the Bible and the gospel.

This kind of pride is especially prevalent in my fellow seminarians who have advanced degrees in theology and have gone into full-time ministry. This is especially true of my more “progressive” friends. Their alignment with current cultural attitudes has bolstered their confidence in their own “rightness.” I remember the feeling.

However, God encountered me in a profound way that I wasn’t expecting. He showed me different parts of the Kingdom that I knew nothing about. But before He would show me, I had to surrender. I had to 1) trust in the Lord with all my heart and 2) lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Many people with advanced degrees in theology want to do the first but aren’t willing to do the second. I had to confess that I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

In other words, the further you go with God, the less you can take with you. And pride about your own understanding is one of those things you can’t take with you. I had to admit, “There is more and I had no idea.” I had to pray, “Lord, forgive me, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.” I had to re-enter a kind of Holy Spirit discipleship training with the Lord and this after a decade of pastoral ministry.

So, it is a worthy question to ask yourself. “What is the biggest roadblock that is holding you back from truly surrendering every part of your life to Jesus?“

You might know immediately. If not, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it. Just be ready for an answer that you may not have expected and that you may not like.

Tip of the Shovel

Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:25-28

I have found that in the Kingdom of God being the tip of the spear often means being the tip of the shovel.

In the Kingdom of God, the reward for faithfulness often comes in the form of more responsibility. If you see someone who is incredibly gifted in the Kingdom, it is often the case they they have sacrificed a tremendous amount for the Lord. They have humbled themselves in obedient surrender in ways that would seem like “too much” for us. For them, it simply flowed out of their intimacy with the Lord.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you… Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
James 4:7-8, 10

Velcro

As Solomon grew old… his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.
1 Kings 11:4-6

At one point in Solomon’s life, he was fully devoted to the Lord. His heart was fully surrendered to God. Yet, as he grew older, he experienced a kind of heart-drift. In order to appease his wives and gain favor with other countries and kingdoms, Solomon allowed the worship of false gods. Then, not only did he allow it, Solomon began to participate in it. Finally, not only did Solomon participate, but he ordered the building of special high places for the worship of these false gods.

But notice that it didn’t say that Solomon became an unbeliever. There really isn’t such a thing. We all worship something, even if that something is ourselves. We’ll make something our god. It is the thing to which we have the most loyalty. It’s the thing to which we’ve given our heart. Solomon still believed in and worshiped the Lord. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that he worshiped the Lord AND worshiped these false gods. What set his father David apart was his full and complete devotion to the Lord. Despite all of David’s mistakes and failures, David’s heart belonged to the Lord and the Lord alone.

The theological word for mixing our worship of the Lord with the worship of other “gods” in our life is syncretism. There are consequences for treating the Lord as if He is just one option on a buffet of spiritual food.

The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lord’s command. So the Lord said to Solomon, “Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son.
1 Kings 11:9-12

Like the tearing of a garment, the Lord declared that He would take the kingdom out of Solomon’s hands. But, for the sake of David, the Lord would not do it in Solomon’s lifetime but would wait until the next generation came into power. Because Solomon’s connection to the Lord went from being intertwined to being little more than velcro, God would rip the kingdom out of his hands like velcro pulling apart.

A highly prophetic friend of mine once gave me this word that said, “whatever isn’t interwoven will be removed.” If we are interwoven with the Lord, nothing can pull us away from Him. Our heart will be fully surrendered and devoted to Him. But if our connection to Him is little more than velcro, when life pulls on it, there will be a ripping away. Likewise, our relationships to each other must be interwoven and not just velcro or they’ll pull away.

So, we must ask ourselves, “What other ‘gods’ are we worshiping?” “What other things have crowded our hearts and stollen some worship from the Lord?” Like David, is our heart fully devoted to the Lord? Or, like Solomon, have we set up a few high places that have us bowing down to priorities other than God’s priorities?

Lenten Fasting

Now John’s disciples and the Pharisees were fasting. Some people came and asked Jesus, “How is it that John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees are fasting, but yours are not?”
Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? They cannot, so long as they have him with them. But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast.
Mark 2:18-20

Today the season of Lent begins and many people will consider giving something up as a way to honor the sacrifice of Jesus. Fasting has always been a part of the life of the Church. Jesus, in the above passage, indicates that once He has ascended to the Father, fasting will become a normal part of the life of a disciple. Jesus also gives instructions about fasting in the Sermon on the Mount.

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Matthew 6:16-18

Notice that Jesus starts with “When you fast…” The assumption is that a normal part of the Christian life will include regular fasting. Also notice here that the focus is on the Father and not on the fast. Our eyes should be on God not on ourselves when we fast. And we should do it in a way that draws little attention to ourselves. Finally, Jesus specifically mentions that there are rewards from the Father for fasting.

The ultimate reward for fasting is an increased focus on the Lord, an increased awareness of His Presence. There is also often an increase in spiritual hunger, insight and breakthrough as a result of fasting, but it is important that we don’t fast in order to “get” something. We fast as a means of giving ourselves more fully to God. Though we often receive way more than we’ve given up, fasting is not an exercise in reciprocity with God. It is a response to the fact that God has already given us so much. It is a response to all that God has given us in Christ. And, in a small way, it is an identification with the sufferings of Christ.

With this in mind, here are some motivations to avoid when doing a Lenten fast:

We don’t fast to get God’s attention: Fasting is more about getting our attention on Him not His attention on us. You are His beloved son or daughter. You already have His undivided attention.
We don’t fast to get what we want from God: Our relationship with God is governed by grace and mercy not reciprocity. We don’t surrender to get things. We surrender in response to the fact that He’s already given us everything!
We don’t fast to lose weight or “detox”: Fasting is not about health benefits but spiritual connection to the Father. The thing most in need of “detox” is our soul. Often food covers buried sins and wounds. Fasting helps these things to emerge and be addressed.

Especially if you fast from food or a favorite food item for Lent, don’t be surprised if things that control you are revealed. We often cover up things in our soul with food. When food is removed, those things can surface and be dealt with. Try to notice these buried sin issues without judging yourself too harshly. For instance, if pride or anger controls us, they will emerge when food is removed. This is an opportunity to surrender these things to the Lord. (If you are battling an eating disorder, have a medical condition that is prohibitive, or a nursing or pregnant mother, you should consider fasting something other than food.)

Here is some wisdom about fasting from Richard Foster in his book Celebration of Discipline:

“We cover up what is inside us with food and other good things, but in fasting these things surface…Anger, bitterness, jealousy, strife, fear – if they are within us, they will surface during fasting.”

“Fasting reminds us that we are sustained ‘by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’ (Matt. 4:4).  Food does not sustain us; God sustains us.”

“Fasting helps keep our balance in life. How easily we begin to allow nonessentials to take precedence in our lives.  How quickly we crave things we do not need until we are enslaved by them.”

“As with all the Disciplines, a progression should be observed; it is wise to learn to walk well before we try to run.  Begin with a partial fast of twenty-four hours’ duration; many have found lunch to lunch to be the best time.  This means that you would not eat two meals.  Fresh fruit juices are excellent to drink during the fast…In the beginning you will be fascinated with the physical aspects of your experience, but the most important thing to monitor is the inner attitude of the heart.  Outwardly you will be performing the regular duties of your day, but inwardly you will be in prayer and adoration, song, and worship. In a new way, cause every task of the day to be a sacred ministry to the Lord.”
“What goes on spiritually is much more important that what is happening bodily…Fasting can bring breakthroughs in the spiritual realm that will never happen in any other way.”
Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

These are all reasons why fasting for Lent should be seen not just as abstaining from food but as feasting on God through prayer and His Word. While our body is fasting and identifying with the sufferings of Christ, our spirit is feasting on the Presence of God and foreshadowing the coming wedding banquet of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7-10).

What will you fast for Lent?