Forgiving God

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

We forgive because we are forgiven. We don’t wait for the other person to apologize or ask for forgiveness. The other person may have really done something wrong when they hurt us. It’s also possible that they did nothing wrong and it was just a perceived slight that hurt us. Either way, forgiveness is not based on the other person but on our reception of God’s forgiveness in Christ. Forgiveness is the only way to weed out the bitterness, anger and resentment in our heart.

But what if you’re angry or feel distant from God? What if God is the one who you believe harmed you? Can we forgive God?

I had this interesting moment with the Lord the other day in a worship service. We were all singing and the Lord began to speak to me about a friend of mine who was feeling distant from God. I heard God speak to my heart and say, “He needs to forgive me.”

When I heard it, I couldn’t make sense of it initially. Forgive God? But why? “God, you don’t ever do anything wrong. Why would he need to forgive YOU?”

Then the Lord gave me a mental picture of a father kneeling down to his young son. The son was upset with his dad. His dad didn’t do anything wrong, but the dad knew that in order to restore the relationship he would have to be the one to ask the son for forgiveness. It wasn’t about the father doing anything wrong; it was about restoring the relationship and mending the heart of the hurting son.

“But, God, what does he need to forgive You for?”

Then I heard the Lord whisper, “I didn’t meet his expectations. He feels distant from me because I failed to meet his expectations. You need to tell him that I am asking for his forgiveness.”

Sensing that I was still uncomfortable with the idea of doing this, the Lord explained further. In an instant, He gave me a download of understanding. It wasn’t that He explained it all with words. It felt more like a surge of understanding.

What God reminded me of is that this is what God does. This is what Jesus did on the cross. He died a death He didn’t deserve to die. He didn’t do anything wrong. He lived a perfect life. Yet, He took our punishment. This is what God does. Even when He doesn’t do anything wrong, He takes the first step toward us. He’s not concerned with what is “fair” to Himself. He’s concerned with mending relationships and healing hearts. He just wants to be reconnected to His sons and daughters. So He bends down on one knee and asks His son forgiveness for not meeting his expectations (even though those expectations were probably false expectations).

It made more sense now. But before I would go and talk to my friend, I wanted to know where the expectations came from. The Lord told me that his family mistakenly taught him that if he did everything right, everything would turn out okay. This lie was planted early in life. And so he did everything right but things didn’t turn out okay. That’s when the feelings of betrayal, confusion, hurt and resentment entered in. Only by forgiving God would he be able to release the bitterness and hurt that has created a wall between him and the Lord.

The Father loves his son so much that He was willing to interrupt His other son right in the middle of worship to tell him all of this. He loves his son so much that He was willing to take a knee and ask His son for forgiveness! How great the Father’s love for us!

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1

Some of you reading this may need to do the same. You may need to forgive God. Your mind has prevented you from doing so because you know He doesn’t make mistakes. But that truth in your mind has kept your heart distant from Him. What the Father understands is that your heart needs to forgive Him. Forgive Him for whatever that hurt is. Release the resentment, bitterness and anger you’ve been holding against Him. He’s getting on one knee before you, taking your hands, and He’s asking His child for forgiveness. Will you forgive Him?

If you don’t know what to say, try something like this:

Father, I was hurt by this ______________. And now I have felt distant from you. I hear You today asking for my forgiveness, wanting to mend our relationship, wanting to heal my heart. So right now, God, I forgive you. I choose today to forgive you. I release the anger, bitterness and resentment. I put aside any feelings of rejection. I take your hands. I want to be close to you again. Thank You for bending down on one knee and asking for my forgiveness. It feels funny to say I forgive you, but I know it is what my heart has needed. Thank you for understanding what my heart needed in order to come close to You again. You are a loving Father. Thank you for loving me through this. Heal my heart. Mend my wounds. May I experience Your love flow into my heart again through your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’s name. Amen.

Not Timid, Not Ashamed

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life—
2 Timothy 1:7-9

The New American Standard Bible translates verse 7 this way: “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” Paul was encouraging Timothy not to be timid regarding the “testimony about our Lord.” Fear can paralyze a person into silence about the truth of the gospel.

Paul was reminding Timothy that the Holy Spirit gives us a boldness about the gospel of Jesus. The Holy Spirit is not a spirit of fear but of power, love and self-discipline. The Holy Spirit gives us power to see the impossible become possible–miracles, signs and wonders. The Father also pours His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. His love changes our heart toward people we would otherwise avoid. And the Holy Spirit is a refining fire within us, giving us self-discipline and moving us into a holy life.

Paul also lets Timothy know that part of following Jesus is suffering for the gospel. Specifically, suffering for the gospel in the New Testament is not about facing illness or the normal hardships of life. Suffering for the gospel is the ridicule and persecution that comes from proclaiming the testimony of Jesus. And part of why we are given the power of God from the Holy Spirit is to fortify our souls during times of insults and false accusations.

Jesus warned of this same thing when He said,

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
Matthew 5:11-12

We couldn’t do any of this on our own. On our own, in our own power, we would shrink into fear and self-protection. We’d spend our time trying to hyper-manage our reputation and other people’s perception of us. It’s the Holy Spirit that breaks us out of self-protection and into courage. It’s the Holy Spirit that empowers us to swim upstream against cultural norms that are anti-Christ. It’s the Spirit that gives us the power and love to call people back to their Heavenly Father–the One who longs to welcome us home and shower us with grace (Luke 15:18-24).

God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
2 Corinthians 5:19-21

Paradox of Faith

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6:11-12

Paul encourages Timothy not to spend all of his time pursuing material wealth. Instead, Paul wants Timothy (and the rest of us) to pursue the riches of the Spirit. Righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness are things we must go after. They are things we must pursue and fight for. This is what it looks like to “take hold” of the eternal life that we have in Christ.

Yet, righteousness is also something we’ve been given. Godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness are also fruits of the Spirit. They are not only things we pursue but things that are birthed within us by the Spirit. And this is the mystery and the tension of the Christian life. This is the paradox of faith–the place where God’s work in us and our participation with God meet together.

It’s like when Paul said of his own ministry, “To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me”(Colossians 1:29). It is the Holy Spirit working within us, yet we must cooperate with Him. God already made us righteous in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21), and yet we must pursue righteousness and godliness. We are already new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17-18), and yet we must “put on” the new self and “put off” the old self (Ephesians 4:22-24). The Father pours His love into our heart through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5), and yet we must pursue love. We were saved by grace through faith in Jesus which is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8), and yet we must pursue greater measures of faith in our own life (2 Timothy 2:22).

This dynamic is not an either/or but a both/and. It is God’s activity, and it is our response to God’s activity. It is His work in us, and it is our cooperation with His work in us. It is His grace, and it is our obedience. The paradox of faith is all of this working together. This is what it looks like to fight the good fight of faith and take hold of the eternal life that we’ve been given in Christ.

Faith-Hope-Love

We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 1:3

Paul praised the Thessalonians for essentially three things: 1) their work, 2) their labor, and 3) their endurance. But what is so interesting is what produced each of these: faith, hope and love. It’s not the only time Paul would write about how these three fit together (1 Corinthians 13:13).

In Christ, we will work hard for the gospel. Work is from the Lord and is a good thing. But our work doesn’t come from a place of striving. It comes from faith. James wrote about how work and faith go together when he said, “But someone will say, ‘You have faith; I have deeds.’ Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds”(James 2:18). In other words, real faith produces action. Real faith will work.

Then Paul mentions that the Thessalonians’ labor was prompted by love. The word translated “labor” in the Greek is the word kopos. It means “laborious toil involving weariness and fatigue.” We have here the image of a woman in labor, fatigued by the process of delivery. Ultimately, it is the unconditional love the mother has for her baby that gives her the strength to labor. Love is capable of doing what seems impossible. Love will labor through just about anything.

Finally, Paul mentions their endurance inspired by hope. When a marathon runner hits the wall in the middle of the race, it is the hope of the finish line that gives them the endurance to keep going. Hopelessness saps all our energy and steals our ability to press through hardship. But hope is energizing. Hope keeps a person going long after they should have given up. Hope sustains us and gives us endurance.

Faith, hope, and love: the essential trinity of character formation–the superfood fruits of the Spirit. Faith, hope, and love produce people who can work hard, labor through difficulty, and have endurance for the long haul.

Depth of Insight

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,
Philippians 1:9-10

Occasionally in the Paul’s letters, he writes out his prayers. This is one of the prayers he prays for the believers in the city of Philippi.

His prayer is that their agape love would abound more and more. But how would this unconditional, Christ-like love grow in them? He prays that their love grows in two areas: knowledge and depth of insight.

The word here in the Greek for knowledge isn’t gnosis, which is the standard word. The word here is epignosis, which means “knowledge gained through first-hand experience or relationship.” Paul didn’t want them to amass more information and think that was going to grow their love. What they needed was personal relationship with Jesus, first-hand encounters with the Holy Spirit that helped them gain more knowledge about who God is and what He is like.

The Greek words that form the phrase “depth of insight” are the words for “all or every” and a word that means “perception, understanding or discernment.” Literally it could be translated “every perception.” The root of this word for “perception” is used when Jesus tries to tell His disciples that He is going to be crucified.

While everyone was marveling at all that Jesus did, he said to his disciples, “Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you: The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men.” But they did not understand what this meant. It was hidden from them, so that they did not grasp it…
Luke 9:43-45

The disciples did not grasp it. They could not understand it. They couldn’t perceive the reality of it. This is the same word used in Paul’s prayer when he prayed for the Philippians to have “insight.” The way that they will grow in their love for God and for other people is if they can grow in their understanding, depth of insight, and perception of the truth.

Love is not the fullness of itself unless it is combined with understanding and truth. We’ve seen enablers perpetuate the addiction of their loved ones and call it love. We’ve seen domestic violence victims protect their abuser from criminal prosecution and call it love. Everything that feels like love and looks like love isn’t always love. We need our love to abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight in order for it to really be love.

And we see this happen on so many issues today to well-meaning Christians. In their attempt to be loving, they leave behind knowledge and depth of insight. In doing so they limit their ability to be “able to discern what is best,” what is “pure and blameless.”

As Children

Every parent will eventually experience that moment. It is always meant as a complement, but it doesn’t always land that way. It’s the moment someone says of your child, “They are just like you!” In a split second, both a flood of pride and a flood of concern hits your soul. This could be a great thing! This could be a terrible thing!

Children don’t wake up in the morning striving to imitate their parents. They don’t put it on their calendar or on their to-do list. They don’t enroll in a program helping them to imitate their parents. It happens naturally. Children pick up the language, mannerisms, voice inflection, moods, and morality of their parents.

It happens without anyone noticing or trying. It happens because of proximity and love. The things and people we love and to which we are in close proximity, we will begin to naturally imitate. This is especially true of children.

This is why Paul writes to the Ephesians, “Follow God’s example (literally: imitate God), therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God”(Ephesians 5:1-2).

One might counter this command with, “How can we possibly imitate God? Isn’t that impossible?”

Apparently not!

Scripture wouldn’t have commanded it if it was impossible. We have the Holy Spirit in us, empowering us to live as Jesus lived. When we write off this command as impossible, we belittle the full potential of “Christ in you, the hope of glory”(Colossians 1:27).

The key here is what Paul writes immediately after the command to “imitate God.” He suggests we do it “as dearly loved children.” This is about being secure in our identity as sons and daughters of the King of kings and Lord of lords. It’s not about striving. It’s less about effort and more about intimacy. Remember, children imitate their parents not because they make a strategic plan but because of proximity and love. This is an invitation to experience proximity to the Father. It’s an invitation to experience the love of the Father.

Consider the possibility that the ONLY way to imitate God is “as dearly loved children.” With faith like a child, drawing nearer and nearer to the Father, as we spend time with Him, we will naturally become like Him. We will find our capacity to love increase. Sacrifice will start to feel like a joy. We will see in others what we couldn’t see before…before we began to see through the eyes of the Father. Our lives will become a fragrant offering.

Real Love

Imagine a wife walks up to her husband and says, “You know, in our marriage we should be all about love. We’ve spent too much time focusing on fidelity. It shouldn’t really matter if I sleep with other men. What really matters is that we love each other. For us to have a healthy marriage, if we had to choose between being faithful to each other and loving each other, we should choose love from now on. And we need to ask forgiveness for all the times we focused on being faithful to each other rather than loving each other. I’ve been hurt by all the times you talked to me about being faithful to you alone. It’s hurtful. It’s not very loving. So if you want me to stay in this marriage, I need you to just love me and stop talking about fidelity.”

What would we say to that wife? I think we’d say that her understanding of love is deficient. We’d try to help her understand that what she is saying is nonsensical because one of the ultimate expressions of love in marriage is fidelity. To speak of fidelity is to speak of love. Likewise, her continual infidelity is the opposite of love.

If she’s “hurt” by talk of fidelity, it is the kind of necessary pain that comes from healing something that is broken. Surgery hurts. Physical therapy hurts. Addressing issues in counseling can hurt. This kind of pain is the pain involved in healing. Not all instances of being “hurt” are from injury. Some pain comes because a broken bone needs to be set in our souls.

Unfortunately, many in the American Church today, especially in more progressive circles, are saying something very similar to what the wife is saying here. Often today people are divorcing talk of holiness with talk of love. Because many view holiness as only “adherence to God’s law” (which is a very legalistic, Pharisaic understanding of holiness), people are saying things like, “If I have to choose to focus on holiness or love, I choose to focus on love. Too many people have been hurt by talk of holiness. I’d rather the church just focus on love.” But this sort of double talk just reveals their poor understanding of both holiness and love.

Holiness is fidelity to Jesus. Holiness in our marriage relationship with Christ is one of the highest expressions of love. A life full of sin is a life of infidelity and spiritual promiscuity. Talk of love cannot be divorced from talk of holiness or it ceases to be love. When we urge people toward holiness, we are calling them to a marriage of fidelity with Christ. We are calling them to the highest expression of love.

Paul had to address something similar in Ephesus. He starts this conversation by reminding the Ephesians to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received”(Ephesians 4:1). Then he describes what that looks like:

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:17-24

Inviting people to step out of their lifestyle of sin and into holiness is an invitation to step into love. This is real love. Justifying and pandering to sin is the opposite of love.

Ephesian Prayer (Part 2)

Paul’s prayer for the Ephesian Christians continues:

being rooted and established in love,may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:17-21

Paul has been praying that the Father would take some power out of His storehouse of glorious riches and distribute it to followers of Jesus through the Holy Spirit for their inner strengthening. This is a strengthening that would allow Christ to dwell on the throne of their hearts in at atmosphere of faith.

Now Paul transitions to the connections between power and love. Because they’ve already surrendered their lives to Jesus, they are now rooted and established (or grounded) in love. The foundation of their house has been laid and the material used was love. The starting line of their journey of faith has the letters L – O – V – E spray-painted across it. The grace and love of the Father is the foundation of their life in Christ.

Yet, what we learn from Paul’s prayer is that there is more! This power that Paul is asking the Father to release will actually empower them to grasp or comprehend something that is incomprehensible. You see, the love of Christ isn’t just the foundation of the mansion; it’s also the wide corridors, the long hallways, the deep cellar, the multi-story high ceiling. His love is not only the beginning, but it’s also the end and everything in-between. The love of Christ is our starting line, it’s what sustains us on the journey, and it’s what is waiting for us at the finish. This kind of love is so expansive that it “surpasses knowledge.” The only way “to know this love that surpasses knowledge” is with a download of the supernatural power of God.

The beautiful thing is that as the Father’s power gets poured out on us, we begin, little by little, to comprehend this incomprehensible love. And as we do, we begin to get filled from the inside out with “all the fullness of God.” A couple chapters later Paul will remind them of this as he gives the Ephesian Christians the command to “be filled with the Spirit”(Ephesians 5:18).

Both this prayer to be filled with the fullness of God and the command to be filled with the Spirit are given to Christians who already have the Spirit. In other words, there is always more of God, more of the Spirit, to experience. The Holy Spirit is a person, not a liquid or a force, so it’s not like we get “more” of Him over time. What happens is that He gets more of us. Like a fragrant incense filling every room of the house, He begins to pervade every part of us. As we surrender every room of our life to Him, rooms that have already been purchased by Christ, the Spirit fills them with more and more of the characteristics of Christ, the fullness of God.

When the Spirit comes to fill us, he brings with him all the fullness of God, causing an overflow from the inside out. That’s why Paul writes next, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” Paul is asking that the Ephesians be filled with the full measure of God and knows that, when God comes to fill His people with His Spirit, there is no limit to what can happen. God can do more in and through filled Christians than we can even imagine.

And when He does, all the glory goes back to Him. It’s not about the Christians that are used so powerfully but about the God who, in His generosity and love, was so pleased to use them. To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.