Tag: fidelity

Necessary Exclusivity

Jesus is

“‘the stone you builders rejected,
    which has become the cornerstone.’ [Psalm 118:22]

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to humankind by which we must be saved.”

Acts 4:11-12

This passage of scripture, taken from Peter’s speech to the Sanhedrin, celebrates the exclusivity of the Christian faith. Salvation is found in no one else. Jesus said something similar about Himself:

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 

John 14:6

And yet at other times in the scriptures, we see the radical inclusivity of the gospel, like in Galatians 3:

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 

Galatians 3:26-28

Holding the tension of these two truths together is absolutely essential for orthodox Christian faith to exist. If all we have is exclusivity, we fall into error and become very closed and judgmental like the Pharisees. If all we have is inclusivity, we become polygamous in our beliefs and fall into infidelity to the truth of the gospel. Unfortunately, certain forms of conservative Christianity only stress exclusivity and certain forms of progressive Christianity only stress inclusivity.

The gospel, however, is not just about including the outsider. It’s not just about finding who is oppressed in trying to make them feel included in the Church. That is a part of the gospel but only part of it. Progressive Christians want this to be the sum total of what the gospel message is about and fall into error in doing so.

Imagine a job opening. In order for the hiring process to be healthy, you need both inclusivity and exclusivity. Everyone should be able to apply to the job (inclusivity) but not everyone can get hired for the job (exclusivity). If all we have is inclusivity without the exclusivity, we have chaos. What if, after a person is hired, someone were to say, “But you’re excluding people and the gospel isn’t about exclusion. You should hire everyone.” It would be nonsensical, right? Yet, this is the mindset of many Progressive Christians today when it comes to Christianity.

Or, how about marriage? Exclusivity is a necessary component. The word we use for exclusivity in marriage is fidelity. Inclusivity in a marriage relationship would be a polyamorous or polygamous relationship. Yet, once exclusivity is firmly established, that marriage can then invite friends, family, children, adopted children, etc. into their home and practice radical inclusivity within their family. But we can’t forget that it is exclusivity that secures the firm footing for radical inclusivity. Without it, inclusivity becomes chaos and, ultimately, infidelity.

So, are all invited to the table? Yes, all are invited to the table, but all are invited to partake in only one meal, the body and blood of Jesus.

Are all invited to the foot of the cross? Yes, all are invited to the foot of the cross, but not to champion our rights. Instead, we are all invited there to surrender all our rights to the King of Kings.

Are all invited to the throne room of grace? Yes, all are invited to the throne room of grace to bow our knee, totally abandon our way of life, and receive true life that comes only from Jesus and only by living His way of life.

For more on how exclusivity and inclusivity must be held together, read this great article.

Real Love

Imagine a wife walks up to her husband and says, “You know, in our marriage we should be all about love. We’ve spent too much time focusing on fidelity. It shouldn’t really matter if I sleep with other men. What really matters is that we love each other. For us to have a healthy marriage, if we had to choose between being faithful to each other and loving each other, we should choose love from now on. And we need to ask forgiveness for all the times we focused on being faithful to each other rather than loving each other. I’ve been hurt by all the times you talked to me about being faithful to you alone. It’s hurtful. It’s not very loving. So if you want me to stay in this marriage, I need you to just love me and stop talking about fidelity.”

What would we say to that wife? I think we’d say that her understanding of love is deficient. We’d try to help her understand that what she is saying is nonsensical because one of the ultimate expressions of love in marriage is fidelity. To speak of fidelity is to speak of love. Likewise, her continual infidelity is the opposite of love.

If she’s “hurt” by talk of fidelity, it is the kind of necessary pain that comes from healing something that is broken. Surgery hurts. Physical therapy hurts. Addressing issues in counseling can hurt. This kind of pain is the pain involved in healing. Not all instances of being “hurt” are from injury. Some pain comes because a broken bone needs to be set in our souls.

Unfortunately, many in the American Church today, especially in more progressive circles, are saying something very similar to what the wife is saying here. Often today people are divorcing talk of holiness with talk of love. Because many view holiness as only “adherence to God’s law” (which is a very legalistic, Pharisaic understanding of holiness), people are saying things like, “If I have to choose to focus on holiness or love, I choose to focus on love. Too many people have been hurt by talk of holiness. I’d rather the church just focus on love.” But this sort of double talk just reveals their poor understanding of both holiness and love.

Holiness is fidelity to Jesus. Holiness in our marriage relationship with Christ is one of the highest expressions of love. A life full of sin is a life of infidelity and spiritual promiscuity. Talk of love cannot be divorced from talk of holiness or it ceases to be love. When we urge people toward holiness, we are calling them to a marriage of fidelity with Christ. We are calling them to the highest expression of love.

Paul had to address something similar in Ephesus. He starts this conversation by reminding the Ephesians to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received”(Ephesians 4:1). Then he describes what that looks like:

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:17-24

Inviting people to step out of their lifestyle of sin and into holiness is an invitation to step into love. This is real love. Justifying and pandering to sin is the opposite of love.